woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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