I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
