weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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