I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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