Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
