her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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