normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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