Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
whose ass print is on the piano?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
