I just cut my nipple shaving
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
