sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
