he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
