I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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