hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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