Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize