then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
