Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
