totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
