if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
