Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
