I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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