My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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