2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
