brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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