God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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