You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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