you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
