spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
