whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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