roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
