and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
