well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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