Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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