I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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