i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
