i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
did you just send me my own nude
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
