I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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