Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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