I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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