I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
so much tequila, so little girl.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
