Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
too bad you live with your parents still
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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