to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
