no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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