okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
