Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
