after a month anything with tits is on the radar
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
