I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
