I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
