I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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