I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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