Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
