That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
