Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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