3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
