You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Randomize
