Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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