ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
