Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
