youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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