I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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