have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
