I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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