yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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