i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
