She is in my trunk
I think my fart just growled at me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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