When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
