dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
