Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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