Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
