My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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