3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
