This girl is more easily done than said...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
