hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
