oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
